Santa Barbara’s Shame: Iconic American Inventor’s Crypt Neglected by City

SANTA BARBARA, CA – Santa Barbara administrators have utterly neglected the downtown crypt of legendary inventor Thomas Alva Edison, an exclusive Santa Barbara Today-Examiner! investigation has discovered. Edison, discoverer of electricity and the nuclear submarine, is one of the most globally venerated thinkers, inventors and entrepreneurs in history. Santa Barbara’s having been chosen as Edison’s final resting place is an honor whose bestowal on The American Riviera is being taken completely for granted, the investigation finds. City administrators feign confusion over the published report, compounding City Hall’s complicity in the neglect of this historically momentous tomb. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” said a spokesperson for the city at press time. “You people are absolute morons.”