SANTA BARBARA, CA – In a move sure to please stakeholders in the area, the Disney corporation’s character Maleficent is in the market for one of Santa Barbara’s most beloved architectural treasures—the Trinity Episcopal Church building at the intersection of State and Micheltorena streets. The curse-hurling, horned hat-favoring real estate speculator expressed enthusiasm for the building, and for our area’s famous charms. “There are only a few places in this realm that can boast such beauty,” she effused in her hackle-raising, throaty murmur. “The mountains, the sea, this darkling stone citadel with its spires, presumed secret chambers and energy efficient block construction – I must say, I feel very fortunate. I’m sure we can come to some agreement with the sellers and reach a price that reflects both fair market value and my available resources.” At press time, Trinity Episcopal representatives were available for comment, but struck mute and staring in terror through encircling serpents of fire.